Espiritu

I’m fairly convinced that “Spirit” is the quintessential American movie (not to be confused with a ‘film’ as Americans, Disney actually, doesn’t make films, they make blown up TV, i.e. movies).  Reasons why:

1. The main character is a horse. What screams the American dream more than a ‘wild’ animal without ties of any kind who doesn’t have to talk and has a huge dick (no boogie nights action but its implied, I mean its a horse).

2. There is no dialogue from the main character but a husky male voiceover kindly relays to us how he is feeling. Read: men don’t have to communicate, everyone just magically knows what is going on. That might be nice, eh?

3. The girl horse has long eyelashes and a feather in her mane. Easy social cues make life, well, easier.

4. The entire movie is an obsene glorification of the American west. Every other scene is in Monument Valley, then they magically end up in a pine forest. Teleportation is the only explanation, and what does every American want more than to teleport.  I mean, everything’s just so far away!

5. The horses can run all day and never tire. Stamina. Enough said.

6. Spirit (the title character) jumps across an impossibly wide canyon, satisfying both the need to overcome insurmountable obstacles and to be Evil Knievil.

7. I’m fairly sure the music was written by Bruce Springsteen.

Need I say more?

In other news, the adage of the day is “free drinks do not equal a good time”.  A lesson for everyone.