“crack cream”

No, it’s not what you think. It’s this treat called Tati, and there’s crack in it. And what I have to say about it is something akin to Mike Myer’s rant (as his Scottish father) in “So I Married an Axe Murderer” about the owner of Kentucky Fried Chicken who he simply refers to as, “the Colonel”. Much like the Colonel, who “puts an addictive chemical in his chicken to make you crave it fortnightly!”, the makers of Tati put what can only be crack in this delicious creation, making us crave it all day everyday.

Tati is, essentially, an ice cream sandwich — but oh how it’s so much more! It is vanilla ice cream, very creamy, very melty, sandwiched between two graham crackery cookies that taste like they have been fried in honey. Between the cookies and the ice cream is a subtle layer of chocolate sauce, unhardened. The creation is divine. It comes in this adorablely wasteful plastic tub with a yellow lid and a little button on the bottom which you can push to expel the cookie — you know, so it feels like you are working for your treat. All of this you do immediately upon exiting the store, actually in the doorway next to the trash can. The entire thing takes less than two minutes to consume, and by that point the cookies have completely softened into the ice cream, and into your belly.

And then you want another one. Immediately. But you don’t get one because you know it’s crack and it’s not good for you. You already had your fix for the day and you don’t want it to get out of control. But then you go into withdrawal, and the cycle begins again when you “break down” and buy one the next day.

Tessa and I had a most intellectual conversation about crack creme today:

Me: I think they would be more satisfying if the cookie were harder. The whole thing wouldn’t melt so fast.

Tessa: I think it would be more satisfying if there weren’t crack in it.

As always, she proves the wiser.

Brother that movie reference was for you. Now go cry yourself to sleep on your giant pillow.