I recently had the pleasure of lunching with the grandparents of a very close friend of mine. I have met these folks before, the last many Thanksgivings, having the requisite conversations before I get too drunk on wine and turkey and chocolate cake to speak with anyone. Not that we had much to talk about before all of this happens.
Last week in New Jersey, of course they live in a retirement community in New Jersey, Steven and I sat down for some awkward cold cuts (whose grandparents, who complain that Steven’s girlfriend isn’t Jewish, serve ham? Bad sign number two, behind New Jersey) and I am forced to deflect questions about “my future”. What did I study? What am I going to do with it, “career-wise”? I do my best to explain the next year or so of my life which will not be “career-oriented”, and compliment Florence on the cole slaw.
A few days later, Steven gives me the full debrief on our visit. The grandparents had spoken with Steven’s father, told him how nice it was to see Steven, how tragic it is that he is always going off somewhere and not spending more time with them, how “interesting” his art is, that they have hopes for his “career”, and how Florence is not worried about my lack of professional direction as, drum roll please, I will just “be somebody’s wife“.
Steven told me this as we were strolling by the Congressional office buildings and I had to sit down on the ledge to take it all in. The gasps and screeches of laughter only added to our novelty on the block. “Who says that?” I asked rhetorically. Florence. In Florence’s world, this is my option, my destiny.
Any takers?
I’m not quite over this yet. More to come on wifery.
February 6, 2008 at 2:53 pm |
If the grandparents are 70 or upwards, they come from a generation when it was still okay to be “somebody’s wife.” If they’re in their 60s, they’re boomers — in this case the comment is gently tinged with contempt. Either way they don’t understand you — or human beings at large — and they’re not making any effort to. But the older they are, the more forgivable that is.
Meanwhile we will all keep tabs on your plans for matrimony,in the awareness that the person you marry — in the event — will be “somebody’s wife,” viz. yours.
February 13, 2008 at 12:03 pm |
Syd. Where are you? And I’m not sure why I just decided to read your blog. No biggie though. Hey, actually though, how are you? Or is this not the forum for that?
Sorry this isn’t sarcastic, crass or witty. Tool.
February 28, 2008 at 4:23 am |
No, no, you don’t know them. This is standard. I’m actually surprised it’s never been said about me.
Oh Syd. You can make your impending husband (or wife) slave away in our bakery?